090122

I'm tired of this sadness. This feeling of longing for someone, something; I don't even know who or what. I'm turning 29 this year and I cant believe my feelings are more complicated; like a ball of unexplained mess I'm having trouble to untie. And it keeps getting bigger; unexplained emptiness. I want to be alone; but not left alone with this thoughts weighing my mind. Will it ever get lighter?

I know this is just hormones. I'm 2 days behind my menstrual cycle but omg I'm tired. I just wanna write it all out. Forcing myself to make sense of it all. It should make sense; but I know better it wont make sense now. Not now; not at the moment I most need it. 

I wonder if my parallel self ever exist; how is she doing? Is she happy? I hope she is. One of us should.